Cee-A-Tee Photography

Just to let you know: most cats won't sit still long enough to have their picture taken. Note that I said MOST--as you know, I'm more than happy to let the human snap away. Just one of many reasons why I'm The Most Wonderful Cat in the World.

Here is Boo jumping off the washing machine while the human is yelling, "Dammit Boo, stay still so I can take your picture."

(BTW, in real life our names do not include obscenities, i.e., Dammit Boo, F**k You Poonie, or G.D. It Boogie, although it would seem so considering we're referred to this way much of the time and usually in a very loud and quite unseemly manner).

Now we're getting closer but Squashy Face still refuses to acquiesce. I rather like the bouncing eyeball effect.

Success at last! You almost can't see the human's left hand gripping his neck in what is called a "stranglehold." I almost felt sorry for the little guy.
(Oh, I just crack myself up when I say stuff like that).

This is Boo saying, "Hey, I can look distinguished just like you, Poonie." Oh, c'mon, you moron--how distinguished can ANYONE look with a herd of plastic horses arranged behind you, hmmmm? He obviously forgot Rule #17--Never flop down in front of toys while she has a camera in her hand.

Finally, an amazingly good photo--he's still, he looks halfway intelligent, his eyes aren't bugging out of his head . . .

OK, enough of this Boo business. This is how THE MASTER does it, boys and girls, cats and kittens, dee-oh-gees and pee-uppies. It just doesn't get any better than this:

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Geese Behind Bars

Rita and Freida have been banned from our yard! The human keeps telling the neighbor that we don't mind them coming over to see us (even with all the pooping in the garage) since he spends the day away at his Angus operation and the wife works as a public health nurse but he's a firm believer in the saying, "Good fences make good neighbors" and that means keeping his animals on HIS side of the good fence. So the poor geesies are alone most of the day and whenever they hear ANY noise from our side (i.e., talking, barking, car door slamming, ants scurrying--like I said, ANY noise), they start honking up a storm and race over to the fence to say hello. Then they start trying to figure out how to get under the fence but the neighbor has unfortunately plugged all the holes. So then the "sad" honking starts. The human gets affected by all this sadness and that translates to being in a bad mood and THAT translates into her ignoring me sitting patiently by my food dish. Today she actually said, "Look Poonie--you've got it better than any of the other animals around here, so quit bugging me about the food all the time!" Can you imagine?! Feeling sorry for a stupid goose?! Mark my word, the next time she puts her hand down to pet my head, whammo! I WILL bite the hand that (hardly ever, as far as I'm concerned) feeds me!

Playing With Your Food, Or, Rita & Freida Come For a Visit

The human has fallen in love with the two geese living next door. I can see why--don't they look tasty? I overheard talk of how the French like to feed their geese until they're literally bursting with fat and then EAT THEIR LIVERS. I don't care what the American government says, the French are A-OK in MY book! A little foodie background on these two might be in order prior to snack time. The humans next door brought home two darling (a human word, translated to "yummy" in cat) baby geese, all yellow and fluffy. They quickly imprinted on the next door human female and called her Mommy in geese-speak, which is really just honking but it's cute when they're little. As babies are wont to do, the geese grew up and here's what they look like now:

At the outset, they were skittish, but quickly decided they liked my human and edged ever closer to the fence between the yards. Either they liked her, or they wanted to peck at her toes.

Suddenly, one of the geese notices a gap under the fence. A jailbreak is inevitable.
Dinnertime approacheth.

Voila! Geese on our property. Doesn't that mean they belong to us now? Fire up the barbecue!!

They go visit Gracie the Blind Goat. She is confused by the honking and wanders off, thinking she's about to be hit by a car.

I gained new admiration (for a nanosecond) for Boogie, who I hear attacked one of the geese and had it by the neck before our human screamed at her, causing her to drop it and go into grovel mode. She probably wouldn't have shared it with me anyway, the bee-atch. Now she's back to being all slobbery and acting all like she and the geese are big pals. Like I said, she's STOO-pid.

The male human, bless his big ole heart, thought it might be nice to try to teach the geese how to wet sand on his Harley fender. Talk about ridiculous! You KNOW they have no idea what he's doing, they're just being nice to him so they can play in the water.

And here's evidence that geese are stupid and really should just be enjoyed with a glass of wine and some crackers: I overheard this one saying, "This is a nice mirror, but it really makes me look sort of green, doesn't it?"

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Goose. It's what's for dinner.